Tender Mercies

My new wheels.

 

I can't think about today's news anymore.  I am all cried out at the moment.

 

Here is what I am grateful for right now:

 

A husband who:

- takes Ethan to boxing and Adam on a date to try to help everyone feel normal.  

- holds me when I cry. 

- tries to help me see past all the scary "ifs" to what we have right now that is not broken.

- cuddles me at night, and flirts with me and makes me feel as sexy

 as a beached walrus can possibly feel.

- wants to take care of things so other's won't feel a burden.

 - rubs my sore leg.

- tells me spring flowers will be here next year. 

- takes care of 15-year-old homework procrastination.

- calls me to remind me to take my shot.

- does his job and then comes home and does mine.

- holds it together, even though this has got to be as hard on him as it is on me.

 

A baby who:

-is alive

-has the hiccups right now and makes me smile.

-has made it this far and is perfect.

-God sent, and has protected thus far.

 

 

Children who:

cook me a high protein breakfast, bring me apples, fill my water (again!), clean up my water after Jonah spills it (again!), teach each other to cook french toast, help me get things onto my feet, comfort each other, change poopie diapers, bathe and dress Jonah, feed him, and wipe his tears,

hug me and tell me they love me.

 

Friends who:

call

cook

help

call

hold me while I cry (thank you, Ellen)

swoon over ultrasound images that look like a cross between

 Skeletor and Alien II, and still tell me my baby is pretty

call

post uplifting scriptures and thoughts on Facebook

take my kids to classes

act like there is no inconvenience at all in picking up the pieces of my life

pray.

 

A dad who:

calls every day to check on me, even though I know he is really upset by it all.

emails funny stuff.

tells me every time we talk that he is praying for me.

 

Siblings who:

are fasting and praying

call

write

send flowers

share their stories of faith and hope

 

Other things I am grateful for:

 

Gail's soft blanket... when I hurt in the night and the house is quiet,

 I hug it and remember I am not alone.

 

Homeschool; I feel needed even though I can't do much right now,

 and it gives me a sense of normal.

 

Windows and spring-like breezes.

 

Heating pads and Tylenol.

 

Doctors and nurses and medicines that are saving our lives right now.

 

The scriptures, especially ones I know by heart.

 

Prayer.

 

Answers to prayer.

 

 

 

Today we got a scary blood test back.  I am RH negative, and was sensitised by Jonah's birth so that my body made anti-bodies against his blood type.  At some point in this crisis with the blood clot and blood thinners, my blood mixed with this baby's blood, and antibody levels have begun to rise, indicating that this baby also has a positive blood type that my blood will attack.  The worry here is that this means that somehow our blood has or is currently mixing, leading to the assumption that there is a problem with the attachment of the placenta.  The attack on the baby's red blood cells can be treated by a blood transfusion after, or if very serious, prior to birth.  The scary part is knowing that the blood is mixing and that could mean a far more dangerous placenta problem; placental abruption.  If it is slow detachment, it could clot and stop, and the baby could make it fine to the birth.  The blood thinners could keep it from clotting, and it could continue to separate.  If it does, the baby will have to be delivered right away to save it.  Symptoms are bleeding and contractions, but not all women have them. 

 

Okay, I have to go back up and read my list again now.