Cocoon

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I woke up this morning just minutes from the time Jonah was born a week ago. I imagined those moments, those last few minutes before he burst upon the planet. It was such an intense time, I could barely take it in. And the days since have flown by bafflingly fast. I dreamed last night that I was in charge of a church activity and I wasn’t ready… I looked for a diaper bag and shoes, but suddenly I was trying to run there barefoot and in my night gown, carrying Jonah in just his diaper. I kept thinking “I’m just not ready”.

And I’m not. I am not ready to leave my cocoon. Not ready to join the world, to talk to strangers in stores, and to deal with traffic and time limits and rushing about.

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Today we left the house for the first time, and as we got in the van and drove away, I looked at our house and wanted to run back inside. Jonah felt so far away in his car seat, and I couldn’t see his sweet little face. If we had to leave our cocoon for something, having lovely baby portraits done by Erin was a gentle way of re-entering the world (see her website here).

. Still, I was glad to get home and wrap my arms around my little pumpkin.

He’s here right now. And he’s gorgeous.

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