Useful

I dragged out of bed this morning feeling ewwie.  Maybe getting sick, maybe not, but oh-so-very-tired.  I lay in bed willing my body to kick into gear, imagining all of the tasks ahead of me this day.  The "20 min Shred" with Kathy that left me with jello legs last week was to start at nine this morning.  I pulled the blanket back up over my head. 

I flashed back to six months ago to when Jonah boy was still inside my belly, and I felt so exhausted all the time.  I remember looking at the mess around me and imagining my body moving through the spaces, picking things up, wiping surfaces, dusting and straightening.  I would imagine it over and over, picking up the same toy or book 20 times, but nothing moved, of course.  The mess was still there, waiting.

I am blown away by how much I am able to accomplish now.  I do more in a day now than I did in a week, maybe a month, back when I was pregnant.  I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to grow Jonah.  I appreciate my body for all the unbelievably hard work it did.  And now I am grateful for what I am able to do now that he is out.  The garage has been cleaned, cupboards and drawers gutted and sorted, and a dozen unfinished projects polished off.  I even painted last night.  I had help from Jonah's little toes as they sought out the canvas and left little toe prints.  It was just as it should be.

I feel useful again.

Its noon and I am feeling better than I did when I dragged out of bed this morning.  I think it was nice to get a reminder of all that I have and am able to enjoy.  I feel so blessed. 

I didn't make it to Kathy's.  I'll try again tomorrow.

My little painting partner has learned to sit up this week.  He does pretty well so long as his melon head doesn't pull him right over.  He also had his first taste of grown-up food.  Traditionally Guy has given our babies a tiny taste of chocolate ice cream (because, well, it's chocolate.  Don't judge), but Jonah had other plans.  He reached out to my plate on Saturday night and grabbed a chunk of cooked broccoli and shoved it into his busy little mouth.  He loved it.  It was soft and sort of mushy and so I let him suck away at it as he clutched the chunk in his tight little fist.  It made for a fabulous diaper the next day. 

His food sensitivities have all cleared up, and the world is feeling balanced again.