Spreading Branches

"...wisdom is not a path, it is a tree...

and I can stay in one place and spread out

in all directions, and I can do more learning

shading this brood of mine than if I was all alone."

Spoken by Sarah Prine in These is my Words

I had a dream not long ago that I was in a giant art studio filled with amazing art.  Up on a pedestal one of my college art professors was painting.  He called my name, and then another professor appeared and showed me a book.  Inside the book were prints of paintings done by all my peers from art school.  I was painfully aware that my art was not in the book.  I felt the heaviness of the question that hung in the air, why wasn't my art in the book?

I felt defensive.  I thought, "I have been raising five children", but I didn't dare utter it aloud.  I remembered their "no excuses" mentality.  I wandered away into galleries full of the most beautiful art I have ever seen.  I ached inside, both at the beauty of the art, and at my longing to create, and began to cry. 

I woke crying.

*****

Like the quiet trees outside, my new growth is just beneath the surface.  I can feel the warmth of coming spring making the sap rise, and my mind is bursting with ideas.  But sometimes I get caught up thinking I am on a path of learning and growing.  But I like the idea that wisdom is a tree.  As my branches spread in a million directions, I learn things I never thought I could, and beneath the canopy they create, the little ones that find shade there are blessed.  Trees never leave the spot where they find root, but those roots reach far and create an anchor.  My branches become a place for my children to play and rest and learn.

*****

I told Guy about my dream.  He pointed out something I hadn't seen before.  All of that amazing art that I was so overcome by....?  It was created by my mind in that dream. 

It was my art, after all.

*****

My friend Chantal always says "As women, we are so hard on ourselves."

It is so true.