I have a pile of partially written posts that never made it to the main page. This is one from before Covid. Maybe someone out there needs it now more than before.
*****
I replaced a GFI outlet the other day. I know that's not a big deal for most. It wouldn't really be for me either (except for a slight fear of death by electrocution), but I have had to really lower my expectations lately, and I'm (trying to be) okay with that.
Not long ago, I responded to a woman's post on the Hashimoto's Facebook page. She was so sad, was just barely diagnosed, and feeling guilty about not being enough for her children, not being well enough to take her daughter to the doctor when she got sick, etc. After I read my response back to myself, I decided I should keep my own copy to read on some future day when I need to hear the same words. Here they are...
*****
I replaced a GFI outlet the other day. I know that's not a big deal for most. It wouldn't really be for me either (except for a slight fear of death by electrocution), but I have had to really lower my expectations lately, and I'm (trying to be) okay with that.
Not long ago, I responded to a woman's post on the Hashimoto's Facebook page. She was so sad, was just barely diagnosed, and feeling guilty about not being enough for her children, not being well enough to take her daughter to the doctor when she got sick, etc. After I read my response back to myself, I decided I should keep my own copy to read on some future day when I need to hear the same words. Here they are...
“Sweet, sweet, darling mama. You’re going to be OK. This is hard, no doubt about it. But you can do it. Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, and taking care of yourself. Try not to use the words like “failure”, or “terrible mom” when describing yourself, because your heart is listening.
If your sweetest, dearest friend was going through this right now, how would you talk to her? What words would you use? Would you give her permission to be sad? Would you tell her she just got this diagnosis, and it will take time to adjust? Would you tell her that she has to give the medicine time to work, the information time to sink in? Would you tell her that she is strong, and good, and capable, and that she will get through this?
I promise you will have better days. You will have bad ones too, but not all of them will be bad. One of the things that Hashimoto’s has given me that is really a gift, is to tell me to slow down, bring my babies up onto my lap and snuggle with them. On days when I feel bad, we read. If I don’t feel up to reading, we watch a nature show together and talk about it. We play little games, sometimes with me laying down and the game resting on my tummy. My daughter has officially labeled me, “the best pony mom in the world” because I play ponies with her. A world title... not so shabby for a sick lady.
Here are my new rules:
If I’m tired I sit down.
If I am sleepy, I cancel plans and take a nap.
I don’t schedule more than one "outside" activity a day if I can help it.
As far as housework goes, if I get ONE thing done a day, I am a rockstar! And if I don’t, I have grace for myself for taking the day to rest.
Three months ago, I spent every waking minute on the couch or in bed. Unless I was absolutely forced to go get groceries or to take a child somewhere, I was on the couch laying down. I now take two naps a week, instead of two a day. I’m getting my house tidied up little by little. I’m doing more things with my kids outside of the house. I’m starting to work on projects again. I am more cheerful and my anxiety is decreasing. My Hashimoto’s symptoms are less intense, and I’m feeling more hopeful.
You’re going to be okay. It’s going to be hard,
but you’re good at doing hard things!"
*****
I can't think of anyone to whom this simple note does not apply. We all need to take better care of ourselves. This world we live in, with it's schedules and expectations, is so hard on us. We are all suffering from being overbooked, undernourished, sleep-deprived, toxicified and spiritually drained. If we don't care for ourselves, who will?
So, I am proud of the day I put in the GFI. It took a long time, in an awkward spot in the hot garage. I have about twenty more outlets to change out, but hey, one down!
That makes me a Rockstar, baby.
July 2019
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