I have never understood that saying, because they never are.
This week, after long deliberation, we have decided to move Ethan out of the room he shares with Adam. We happen to have a play room, more like an enclosed patio, that is 10 feet wide and 28 feet long, that hasn't gotten much play over the past couple of years. The boys have out grown little toys and opt for bikes and skateboards most of the time, while the girls would rather play (read here: make messes) in their room. So we are turning half of the space into a room for Ethan.
I always thought that I would want my children to share rooms until they left our home. I don't know if it is the fact that as kids we always did, and I used to think that a kid with his or her own room was a spoiled rich kid, or if it is because of my fundamental belief that people need each other and should be together. What ever the reason, it seemed strange to consider the separation, but I am learning to see my children as individuals, and as such, it is becoming clear that Adam needs some peace. Ethan's exuberance and down-right noisiness had been stealing sleep from Adam (among other things), and his mess has enveloped the entire room. Adam is not tidy but not a slob, and definitely a morning person. Ethan on the other hand is usually up until midnight or later, listening to music and "doing stuff" that makes it hard for Adam to sleep. There are other reasons, but if I boil them all down, this is what I come to: All things are not equal. Adam and Ethan have different needs. Those different needs are not being met by them being in a room together.
This is going to be tricky. We have to build a temporary wall. We will have to make needed repairs to the leaky ceiling and adjust to being able to see his room through our living room window. I am hoping it will help Ethan to work on being tidier. I know Adam is going to love getting more sleep, and having his space and possessions respected more. I imagine they will still spend time together in each other's spaces, but it will be interesting to watch the adjustment as it unfolds.
This week is phase one, move Ethan. Next week will be phase two; move the girls to the big bedroom and move Adam to their smaller one. And after we finally got the boys room painted!